The Realm's Wall of Dishonor

Hall ofShame

Every season, somebody finishes last. This is the official record of those who took the title, those who dodged it, and those the realm would rather forget.

4Official Snurgs
2Vacant years
1Great escape

The Law of the Snurg

The last-place finisher of the regular season must take the dreaded Snurg Gurgler name and its sentence. Only one thing can save them.

IFinish last and you become the Snurg Gurgler, forced to serve the league-voted punishment.
IIThe Snurg Gurgler Trophy: a monstrous, golden, phallic shaped, football-helmet-wearing T‑Rex, must be wined, dined, and 69'd publicly.
IIIYour name is carved into the Golden Dong for all time. Once a Snurg, always a Snurg!
IVThe Castleblack Bowl: Your only savior! Win it and you escape the title, the punishment, and all the shame that comes with it.

The Official Lineage

Season by season, every sentence handed down.

2019

The Lord of Photography

Zach Grimes · The First of His Name

The very first Snurg Gurgler. After finishing last place and setting the bar with an abysmal 2-11 season, his sentence was a calendar photo shoot, and Slimey Grimey Photography was born.

The First Snurg
2020

Captain Gurgler

Zach McLeod · The Second of His Name

The second Gurgler. His punishment: the recreation of the "I'm On a Boat" music video aboard the USS Gurgler, posted to the internet forever. This Snurg went 4-9 on the season and will be remembered as Captain Gurgler for all time.

The Second Snurg
2021

Master of Waffles

A fallen house · The Third of His Name

He lost the Castleblack Bowl final and gurgled the sack shortly after. The sentence: sit in a Waffle House for 24 hours, and every waffle eaten takes an hour off the time. After finishing 3-11 on the season, it's been said the smell of snurg syrup haunts him to this day.

The Third Snurg
2022

The Throne Stood Empty

A Snurg was due, but he was removed from the realm before the sentence could be served. No one gurgled that year.

Vacant
2023

The Great Escape!

Chad Day

Taking over an orphan team that won one game the year prior, finishing 2023 at 3-11 and doomed to the Snurg, he ran the gauntlet ultimately winning the Castleblack Bowl! Earning his freedom and walking free from the monstrous T-Rex. No punishment, no title, and no shame. This is the ONLY time in league history it has happened.

Escaped
2024

Matthew Berry's #1 Fan

Alex Parham · The Fourth of His Name

After accepting his fate and finishing 2-12, His Sentence: write to the fantasy football godfather himself, Matthew Berry, every single day until acknowledged. He sent more than a hundred messages and Berry finally answered. Matthew Berry wrote an article about Alex and the league. The punishment became one of the league's proudest moments. But don't let that fool you. His name is inscribed on the Golden Dong forever.

The Snurg IV
2025

The Sentence Refused

The Snurg never did the punishment and, due to creative differences, left the realm. The seat stayed vacant.

Vacant
2026

To Be Decided

The season is young. This year's sentence is the Beer Wench: at the live draft, the Snurg fetches a beer for anyone who is thirsty.

In progress
The Snurg Gurgler trophy: a golden T-Rex in a football helmet on a black plinth

The Wall of Ads

The Snurg economy, as advertised.

All ads are satire. Any resemblance to a real business, lawyer or phone number is a joke made at the Snurg's expense.